New Blog

I have started transferring all my old posts from my self hosted blog to blogger.com, as you might have noticed I haven't posted anything for a while, mainly because I haven't been able to get the spam problem under control.

So you will the old posts from the site here. Apologies to those of you who have read them before.

Word of the Week - Deepbrief

deep·brief
tr.v. deep·briefed, deep·brief·ing, deep·briefs

1. Post activity lecture, by Deep, on how you can do it better next time
2. To have ones underwear taken off by Deep
3. When Deep takes off his underwear

JAT-LAG PANDEMIC CRIPPLES COMMUNITY

London, UK: Doctors have finally acknowledged that JAT-LAG is a medical condition and should be treated as such. Dr. Singh, a respected surgeon at West Middlesex Teaching Hospital, said in a statement earlier today, “this is a very important step in the fight against JAT-LAG, acknowledging the problem is half the cure”, adding “also this should mean funding will be made available to help treat this debilitating condition.”

Jat-Lag like Jet-Lag, occurs when moving from one place to another, however where jet-lag effects the body clock, jat-lag has the same effect on ideas. Unfortunately, Jat-lag lasts much longer, some make others suffer for decades and eventually die with the condition.

Sufferers display a wide variety of symptoms, which often include

• Annoying Superiority Complexes
• Romanticizing Punjabi Rural Lifestyles
• Rewriting history and religion, to include the exploits of Jat-Lag Sufferers
• Applying rules that are completely irrelevant in today world, in the name of “preservation of culture”
• Farm Geographic Transmigration Syndrome (FGTS), sufferers think they are on a farm

Although Jat-Lag was downwardly restrictive in the past, it has now mutated to include geography, from country down to the village level, any variation in caste, fairness of skin or occupation.

Younger sufferers often display signs of denial, comments like “I don’t have Jat-Lag, my parents do, but I don’t want to upset them, they’ve done so much for me, so I pretend everything is okay” or “well actually we are different from you my dad said” are common.

Jat-lag is often hereditary, British Born Confused Punjabi’s (BBCP) and American Born Confused Desi’s (ABCD) are two groups that have a very tough time reconciling Jat-Lag with the world they live in. Younger members of the two groups though seemed to be developing some kind of resistance.

Jat-Lag is normally not contagious, unless you are incredibly stupid, or lack any ideas of your own.

The Mayor of London is starting the Balle Balle Fund For The Eradication Of Jat-Lag, BBFFTEOJ, for short. This fund will coordinate and support, research in Anti-Jat-Lag treatment and training.

Senor Singez & Senor Deep `Balle` Shanchez

Buenos Aires, Argentina : 7 days, copious amounts of red meat, an unexplainable abundance of underwear retail outlets and of course a generous lashing of alcohol has left us somewhat exhausted.

How often does this happen? You walk out of swanky a restaurant, if you are in town, Casa Cruz, is the place to eat and to be seen, but I digress from a story of incredible improbability. Flirting briefly with the plethora of charming argentinian women outside, a random guy hears that we are en route to Crobar. He with his wife, offers a lift. Remarkable. We make small talk in the car and he gives me his card, and tells me to ask for nextman at the club door. For those of you who know what a pain in the ass Crobar in NYC is, the following will seem miraculous! We roll right up to the door past the heaving line drop the name, in no less than 2 minutes we are whisked away to the owners office where we make our hello´s. No line, No cover, No hassle.
Needless to say, DJ Scumfrog dropped a massive set. Pictures are on there way. The following night at Pacha were just as smooth, although greased with some financial wd40.

We have just arrived in Iguazu, on the border with Brazil and Paraugay to hang out in the jungle and see the water fall.

More later

The Journey Home...

From the air my lame ass Ralph Lauren garment bag managed to break at every possible gripping point. Don't buy designer luggage!

Suprising the Cancun to New York was relatively painless. As was the 3 hour wait until my next flight. Some Asian kid, hoping to bond with me perhaps, bought me giant size cognac. So large in fact I didn't finish it!

Virgin put a lovely duck buffet in the upper class lounge. Unfortunately all the food, booze and the flat bed didn't help in the sleeping department.

Anyway landed, as usual this was after circling London for 20 minutes, will someone please start building that bloody third runway.

Got through immigration in 11 seconds, why aren't we profiling more? Got my luggage, changed into a suit in the toilet..and then got a taxi to Central for our meeting....

Not bad, not great...another 5000 miles odd..

Just The Weekend...Cancun

Cancun, Mexico Admittedly it was a little more than the weekend but only just. My co-conspirator on this mission was an Ethiopian spy, code named “The Bald One” a.k.a. DJ.

The water was really blue...

The resort was fine, nothing special, my daily routine consisted of sleeping in my room, sleeping by the pool, sleeping in the pool, sleeping on the beach and sleeping.

As you can see it was a very rigid schedule that I had the discipline and commitment to stick to for the whole trip.

We went scuba diving as well which was very nice, although I think I stomped over half the coral. Singh’s and water don’t really mix.

In a twist of fate, the jet ski episode seem to have smashed my back, back into to position alleviating the debilitating pain I had all through my holiday.

Just The Weekend...BBQ London

London, UK: So I thought it would be a good idea to try to do a BBQ on the one day I had free in London....after my Delhi Airpit ordeal...

Thanks to everyone who came..