London, UK: Concerns of over the credit crisis and oil prices continued to weigh on investors weakening the dollar.
Investors ran to safe haven investments such as gold, forcing the price up to an 20-year high. There was however, plenty of gold selling, as Indian daughter-in-law’s were able to convince their husbands family that with the gold spot where it was it was utter madness not to sell.
However, noted Punjabi anthropologist, Dr. Iam Don Key, said that this Sale was more to do with the girls not wanting to wear tasteless display of wealth. A spokeswoman for NA, NauAh Anonymous said, “ There are often unreported medical consequences from wearing so much gold, neck ache, back ache and extreme embarrassment from looking like Christmas tree”
Medical insurance company stocks, also rose on the prospect of not having to pay out on such claims, the biggest gainer was MTTI, Meri Tutee Toohey Insurance (MTTI), which rose 3%.
In other news, a Punjabi girl is receiving treatment on her arse, after tripping in a field over her very long hair. The girl, is reported to be in good spirits, although she has asked to be kept in for observation. Lawyers for Timotei, issued a statement, saying they would fight any compensation claim in court.
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