JAT-LAG PANDEMIC CRIPPLES COMMUNITY

London, UK: Doctors have finally acknowledged that JAT-LAG is a medical condition and should be treated as such. Dr. Singh, a respected surgeon at West Middlesex Teaching Hospital, said in a statement earlier today, “this is a very important step in the fight against JAT-LAG, acknowledging the problem is half the cure”, adding “also this should mean funding will be made available to help treat this debilitating condition.”

Jat-Lag like Jet-Lag, occurs when moving from one place to another, however where jet-lag effects the body clock, jat-lag has the same effect on ideas. Unfortunately, Jat-lag lasts much longer, some make others suffer for decades and eventually die with the condition.

Sufferers display a wide variety of symptoms, which often include

• Annoying Superiority Complexes
• Romanticizing Punjabi Rural Lifestyles
• Rewriting history and religion, to include the exploits of Jat-Lag Sufferers
• Applying rules that are completely irrelevant in today world, in the name of “preservation of culture”
• Farm Geographic Transmigration Syndrome (FGTS), sufferers think they are on a farm

Although Jat-Lag was downwardly restrictive in the past, it has now mutated to include geography, from country down to the village level, any variation in caste, fairness of skin or occupation.

Younger sufferers often display signs of denial, comments like “I don’t have Jat-Lag, my parents do, but I don’t want to upset them, they’ve done so much for me, so I pretend everything is okay” or “well actually we are different from you my dad said” are common.

Jat-lag is often hereditary, British Born Confused Punjabi’s (BBCP) and American Born Confused Desi’s (ABCD) are two groups that have a very tough time reconciling Jat-Lag with the world they live in. Younger members of the two groups though seemed to be developing some kind of resistance.

Jat-Lag is normally not contagious, unless you are incredibly stupid, or lack any ideas of your own.

The Mayor of London is starting the Balle Balle Fund For The Eradication Of Jat-Lag, BBFFTEOJ, for short. This fund will coordinate and support, research in Anti-Jat-Lag treatment and training.